I'm Such a Dork

I'm Such A Dork

by Eli Resnick and Ian Feldman

When I get up I'm still asleep
Then I wake up act like a creep
If I'm hungry get something to eat
If I'm thirsty have a little drink
If I'm angry damn well break something
If I'm confused I'll
...
I'm confused now.

I am such a dork! I am such a dork! I am such a dork! Yeah.
I am such a dork! I am such a dork! I am such a dork! Yeah.
I am such a dork! I am such a dork! I am such a dork! Yeah.
I am such a dork! I am such a dork! I am such a dork! Yeah.

People can be happy whatever they're doing
I don't understand them so let's go and eat something
I have no opinions I hope I'm not a novelty
Just a longhaired freak with no mental stability
I may be annoying but I got some money
That is all that matters in our society.
Yeah.

(Third verse spoken, and greatly improvised. The general gist is...)
If I never grow up, I'll negotiate world peace
Please don't ask me how I'm gonna do it because then I'd feel compelled to use my political
influence to get all the countries to declare
full global thermo nuclear war on
you and your family so don't even get me started
If I grow up, I'm gonna be a drawbridge
Please don't ask me what I mean 'cause
then I'd have to drive you to a place we call distraction
we can ride there in the back of my new hot-pink limousine
Yeah!!!
Hey!
Yeah!