I know a girl named Wolfgang
I met her long ago
She was walking to the HUB
And she stopped to say hello
She asked me what my name was
She said, "I'll remember you"
And she knew she would because
She wasn't "Katharine" too
So what's wrong with you
Just come along
Toss some soynuts back, my dear
And help me sing this song
It's 'bout a girl
A friend so true
Just careful what you eat because
She just might lecture you
She used to wear a paper hat
With strange things written on
But even weirder than the hat
Was the hair it sat upon
Now you may call that hair a mess
But I've one thing to say
She hasn't combed it for two years
And I like it fine that way
So what's wrong with you
Just come along
Toss some soynuts back, my dear
And help me sing this song
It's 'bout a girl
A friend so true
Just careful what you throw away
She might recycle you
Well I went back to camp this year
And there I saw my friend
She said she was a vegan
I was just a vegetarian
Well we found forehead gophers
And we got cheese on our heads
And though peanut butter made me happy
She decided it was sad instead
So what's wrong with you
Just come along
Toss some soynuts back, my dear
And help me sing this song
It's 'bout a girl
A friend so true
Just careful what you say because
She might write a song for you
Well we did crossword puzzles
And we talked about guys
I think we got the dandruff off
When we poked ourselves in the eye ("Well!")
And though I stepped upon her feet
And got into her hair
I was the algae to her fungus
We were really quite a pair
So what's wrong with you
Just come along
Toss some soynuts back, my dear
And help me sing this song
It's 'bout a girl
A friend so true
Just careful what you think because
She's a lot smarter than you
We both like to play guitar
And we both like to sing
We both are geo-germans and
We both can't see a thing
But one more thing we have in common
And that one thing would be:
think she's wonderful
And she agrees with me
So what's wrong with you
Just come along
Toss some soynuts back, my dear
And help me sing this song
It's 'bout a girl
A friend so true
And don't you worry 'bout a thing because
She's a pretty damn spiffy one too